The Situation, Sorted

Seonaid Divine

The Situation, Sorted

Dear Readers,
I write to you from my sick bed. There's been a terrible development. Please believe me when I say, I absolutely never meant for this to happen. In this crazy, random, happenstance universe, through no fault of our own, we are sometimes forced into the wrong place at the wrong time. Like yesterday.
Berit, without provocation, experienced a total loss of control. I don't mind telling you, since you weren't there and must trust my sincere account of this remarkable incident: I've never seen anything like it. I was in front of my flat taking Hugo Turtle for a walk, when all of a sudden, I heard…grunting. I looked across the street and there stood Berit with Stuart. She must have been crying out to me - her mouth was moving but the noises she made…were inhuman. Guttural. It puts me in mind of the Exorcist. Have you seen it? She sounded just like that little girl. Unreal! Just like her.
I’ve never seen anyone navigate such heavy traffic with such speed, agility… not grace, no, but speed and agility kept her from getting hit. Too bad, because, burdened as I was with turtle, I was unable to escape. Helpless to defend against the onslaught. Berit hammered me with her fists, screaming obscenities. My arms, of necessity, were over my head and thus blocked my vision but I imagine Berit didn't look her best. Until the bruises fade, I won't either.
A neighbor called the police. Berit was arrested. I’m filing an order of protection. She’ll be forced from her flat. That’s unfortunate but, as Stuart pointed out, she brought this on herself.
Talking of which, he was very tender towards me and our turtle. He’s stopping by to nurse my wounds. I'm going to tell him about the baby. He deserves to know.
~xo Seonaid