Sext Etiquette 101

You want a hot hook-up, but the epidemic of celebrity sexting scandals is making you think twice. Ladies, never forget that great sext is all about communication.
Guaranteed Tips for Making a Clean Exit after Doing the Dirty

    * Make sure you have a good data plan on your phone. Data packages are more important than free minutes because texting for sex reduces intimacy and prohibits awkward pauses.
    * Text him only when drunk. Alcohol is a great excuse for poor judgment and bad decision making.
    * Be explicit. You want sex. Men think, maybe I can get a commitment. No man would choose to be used for sex and then abandoned but if it's emotional support he's after, he should get a therapist. I suggest: “Want 2 c u 4 cheap meaningless sex. No strings/No spooning. U in or shld I text the next random guy?”
    * Spare yourself the uncomfortable “put out and get out” formalities by going to his place.
    * On arrival, tell him you meant to text someone else, but since he replied, you figured, why not?
    * Straight away, bind and gag him. (Prevents physical and verbal caresses.)
    * Keep your clothes on. Tell him you’re feeling kinky, but never lose sight of your keys.
    * Scream another man’s name. Repeatedly. Make sure he knows the score.
    * If he gets emotional after sex, pat him on the back. Insist he get a grip. When in doubt, have sex until he collapses from exhaustion. 
 ~xo Seonaid

3 comments

Anonymous | June 14, 2011 at 2:18 PM

Pretty difficult for me to do good tongue work if you've gagged me.

Seonaid Divine | June 14, 2011 at 3:47 PM

Good point, anon. We'll take this under advisement.

Anonymous | June 14, 2011 at 4:05 PM

Dear Anonymous,
You must be unschooled in the apparel related to BDSM play. There is actually a gag that has an opening just wide enough for your tongue to fit through while still preventing speech. You should do a bit more research before posting my novice friend.

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